.002 [Video]

[what_ho_jeeves]

[FAIL!private to the Admiral. ie--not private at all]

Excuse me, Admiral fellow, if you could do a chap a favour, I'd like to trade in my current Warden Item for a new one. I'd like my new Warden Item to be a valet, tall, dark-haired, goes by the name of "Reginald Jeeves." I'm sure he'd do a corking job keeping me informed of my inmate-to-be's activities, as he's always kept me informed of dashed near everything that one could possibly need to be informed about. In fact, he's the most informed bird I know. "Informed" is just the word to describe him.

And I'd be bally grateful if you could make the replacement quickly. I've a yearning for a spot of tea, you see, and the kettle's a bit tricky.

Comments

[shoot-thecook.livejournal.com]

Wait, we can have people as our Items? Why wasn't I told?

[what_ho_jeeves]

I don't rightly know if we can, but it can't hurt to ask.

[shoot-thecook.livejournal.com]

In that case, I want mine tall, stacked up top, and likes the feel of leather. Know what I'm saying?

[what_ho_jeeves]

[Bertie interprets "stacked up top" as "wearing a big hat" and "likes the feel of leather" as "works outdoors, probably with animals."]

You...want a cowboy for your Warden Item?

[subtlescience]

I don't know why you decided to again grace us with your presence, House, but if you come near me or my room, I won't hesitate to follow through with what I started when last we met.

[*takes advantage of this unfortunate situation*]

[what_ho_jeeves]

I say, birds and beazels left and right seem to be mistaking me for this "House" chap. It's only natural, I suppose, as he is also apparently a handsome devil with iron will, but I assure you that I am not he.

[subtlescience]

[Wut.]

...I am not falling for this.

[Because we are paranoid on level seven.]

Later

[rass-bestie.livejournal.com]

How did that go?

Later

[what_ho_jeeves]

[Looking around his flat with a sad and perturbed expression.]

No sign of Jeeves yet.

Re: Later

[rass-bestie.livejournal.com]

[Don't laugh, don't laugh.] I feel we may have to view it as a refusal.

Re: Later

[what_ho_jeeves]

Rather rude of the Admiral not to just say so. Leaving a man waiting in anticipation, what sort of responsible naval commander does that?

sorry, bertie. I forsee this ending in o'brien calling him capitalist scum.

[equalsfive.livejournal.com]

Did you just ask for a person for your item?

Bertie will call him a...communist. Yes, a communist. (Bertie's insults need work.)

[what_ho_jeeves]

Nay, not just any person, my valet, Jeeves, who is as far beyond normal personhood as...a very brainy chap is beyond a not brainy chap.

bwahaha. ironically. O'Brien has a servant. an... eastasian prisoner of war servant. :/

[equalsfive.livejournal.com]

You're asking for him like you own him, though. What are you, a slaver?

That's...almost like having a valet.

[what_ho_jeeves]

Of course not! No one owns Jeeves. He's my employee. He tells me I give him more than adequate remuneration for his services. [Jeeves is in charge of paying most of Bertie's bills, too, so Bertie has no idea how much he pays Jeeves. But he assumes that it's a fair wage.]

[una_persson]

I'm afraid to say that probably isn't going to work, Mr Wooster.

[what_ho_jeeves]

It's worth an old Wooster try, though, what?

[una_persson]

Anything's worth a try, but I advise not getting your hopes up too high.

[collector]

Mr. Wooster, I'm taking tea just presently, but I'm certain that if you dropped by, you could work out a bit more about how to filter your communicator.

[what_ho_jeeves]

I'd be much obliged Mr. Braxiatel. This be-buttoned whatsits would drive Isaac Newton to despair and my kettle's having a spot of trouble. [ie--He has put water in it and put it on the stove, but he put it on the wrong burner and so is perpetually confused why it's not heating up.]

[Private]

[collector]

[Really, he's just doing this as a test of whether or not Bertie has any notion of how to make the private function, well, function, really. Two strikes and all that.]

I could take a look at it, if I knew where your room was.

Not Private

[what_ho_jeeves]

[Bertie squints at the sign that Brax's message is PRIVATE, and gingerly presses a few buttons.]

P S +

[And gives up.]

That'd be awfully chummy of you. My room is...dash it all, I'm not sure where my room it.

[vinkus-witch.livejournal.com]

Did you just ask for a human being to use as an item?

...Bertie logic. I'm sorry.

[what_ho_jeeves]

Well, if one considers Jeeves qua...it is qua isn't it?...Jeeves qua homo sapien, then...yes. However, if one considers Jeeves qua genius, then it's not exactly like asking for just any human being, what?

She doesn't follow it.

[vinkus-witch.livejournal.com]

Qua? What's a qua?

Are you labelling a sentient person as inhuman so you can regard them as an item rather than a person?