.002 [Video]

[what_ho_jeeves]

[FAIL!private to the Admiral. ie--not private at all]

Excuse me, Admiral fellow, if you could do a chap a favour, I'd like to trade in my current Warden Item for a new one. I'd like my new Warden Item to be a valet, tall, dark-haired, goes by the name of "Reginald Jeeves." I'm sure he'd do a corking job keeping me informed of my inmate-to-be's activities, as he's always kept me informed of dashed near everything that one could possibly need to be informed about. In fact, he's the most informed bird I know. "Informed" is just the word to describe him.

And I'd be bally grateful if you could make the replacement quickly. I've a yearning for a spot of tea, you see, and the kettle's a bit tricky.

Comments

[shoot-thecook.livejournal.com]

Wait, we can have people as our Items? Why wasn't I told?

[what_ho_jeeves]

I don't rightly know if we can, but it can't hurt to ask.

[shoot-thecook.livejournal.com]

In that case, I want mine tall, stacked up top, and likes the feel of leather. Know what I'm saying?

[what_ho_jeeves]

[Bertie interprets "stacked up top" as "wearing a big hat" and "likes the feel of leather" as "works outdoors, probably with animals."]

You...want a cowboy for your Warden Item?

[shoot-thecook.livejournal.com]

[That? Is officially the greatest misinterpretation of anything, ever.]

I think you misread... everything above. A cowboy seems more like something you'd want.

[what_ho_jeeves]

[Bertie misinterprets things almost always.]

Why would I want a cowboy? There aren't many cows in the metrop, or on this ship for that matter. A valet is much more practical, unless cowboys are equally good as valets at making tea and tidying rooms.

[shoot-thecook.livejournal.com]

It was a joke.

[. . .]

Nevermind. Why can't you tidy your own room or make your own tea?

[what_ho_jeeves]

Well, if I did that what would my valet do?

[Also, Bertie is incapable of making tea and too lazy to tidy his room.]

[shoot-thecook.livejournal.com]

Not a damn thing since he's not here, apparently.

[subtlescience]

I don't know why you decided to again grace us with your presence, House, but if you come near me or my room, I won't hesitate to follow through with what I started when last we met.

[*takes advantage of this unfortunate situation*]

Later

[rass-bestie.livejournal.com]

How did that go?

sorry, bertie. I forsee this ending in o'brien calling him capitalist scum.

[equalsfive.livejournal.com]

Did you just ask for a person for your item?

[una_persson]

I'm afraid to say that probably isn't going to work, Mr Wooster.

[collector]

Mr. Wooster, I'm taking tea just presently, but I'm certain that if you dropped by, you could work out a bit more about how to filter your communicator.

[what_ho_jeeves]

I say, birds and beazels left and right seem to be mistaking me for this "House" chap. It's only natural, I suppose, as he is also apparently a handsome devil with iron will, but I assure you that I am not he.

Later

[what_ho_jeeves]

[Looking around his flat with a sad and perturbed expression.]

No sign of Jeeves yet.

Bertie will call him a...communist. Yes, a communist. (Bertie's insults need work.)

[what_ho_jeeves]

Nay, not just any person, my valet, Jeeves, who is as far beyond normal personhood as...a very brainy chap is beyond a not brainy chap.

[what_ho_jeeves]

It's worth an old Wooster try, though, what?

[what_ho_jeeves]

I'd be much obliged Mr. Braxiatel. This be-buttoned whatsits would drive Isaac Newton to despair and my kettle's having a spot of trouble. [ie--He has put water in it and put it on the stove, but he put it on the wrong burner and so is perpetually confused why it's not heating up.]

[vinkus-witch.livejournal.com]

Did you just ask for a human being to use as an item?

...Bertie logic. I'm sorry.

[what_ho_jeeves]

Well, if one considers Jeeves qua...it is qua isn't it?...Jeeves qua homo sapien, then...yes. However, if one considers Jeeves qua genius, then it's not exactly like asking for just any human being, what?

She doesn't follow it.

[vinkus-witch.livejournal.com]

Qua? What's a qua?

Are you labelling a sentient person as inhuman so you can regard them as an item rather than a person?

I'm not sure he even entirely follows it.

[what_ho_jeeves]

A qua is...[That is a very good question. Where's Jeeves when there are questions that need answers? Well, he'll just have to do his best on his own.] A qua is Latin, I believe. It means... [rolling gesture with his hand as he tries to explain something he doesn't understand very well either] thingness.

And Jeeves is not inhuman! A little frightening at times, almost supernatural in his knowledge, but not inhuman. In brains, he's like five humans put together. He's like that German fellow's Overmunch. [He means "Ubermensch."]

bwahaha. ironically. O'Brien has a servant. an... eastasian prisoner of war servant. :/

[equalsfive.livejournal.com]

You're asking for him like you own him, though. What are you, a slaver?

[vinkus-witch.livejournal.com]

So you're ascribing a person with the quality of 'thingness', yet insisting he's not inhuman, but incredibly intelligent, yet his thingness means he can qualify as an item when people point out the fact that you're asking for a person to be your item?