what_ho_jeeves: (GQMF)
Miss Lua? Is there a Miss Lua here?

My item [holds up a pulp mystery novel] is telling me that I'm supposed to look out for you now as well as the Professor. I didn't realize this wardening business would be such hard work.

Perhaps we should meet up, get to know each other, what? I have a small questionnaire we could do together.
what_ho_jeeves: (zzz)
[Bertie's hair is mussed, his collar undone, his eyes bleary. He speaks a bit more quietly and without as much joie de vivre as usual.]

I do think I was a bit more zozzled than I realized last night. [Four nights ago. Bertie was in a Barge coma and doesn't realize it. He missed the entire mirrorverse.] One of Jeeves' brilliant pick-me-ups would be just the ticket right now. Admiral, old chap, I don't suppose you'd oblige a suffering warden in need?

No?

[sigh]

I say, has anyone seen my left shoe? I must have misplaced it somewhere. Dashed odd thing to lose, though, a left shoe. I've lost ties and hats and cuff links on nights such as last, but never before a shoe.
what_ho_jeeves: (beardy)
[This little pamphlet appears across town overnight, nailed haphazardly to hitching posts, doors, walls--anything in a public place that's wood. It's a clear sign that loony Mr. Wooster is back in town after a three month sojourn into the wild. Feel free to rip up the pamphlets, graffiti over them, or run into Wooster. He's actually quite wealthy and has a rich family back east that sends him money to support his obsessions, but to any newcomer he looks more like the town beggar right now, all tattered clothes and filthy beard.]

The Locusts of the West

When you walk with Nature, you walk with the Divine. Out upon the desert plains one can see the Sublime and in the immense stillness one finds oneself and is refreshed. I have seen forests made of stone, and a canyon trench more vast and awesome than any creation made by man, a veritable abyss from which the Hopi Indians say the first man walked.

This, God’s creation, is brought to ruin not by war or drought, but by the Locusts of the West. I say locusts, although I do not mean any insect, although the destruction they wreak upon the land is as great as any Biblical plague. What I do mean by locust is the cattle that trample the earth, champ the wild grasses down to the soil, turn the subtle beauty of the wilderness into a desolate wasteland of clay and dust.

If you love God, if you love this Earth, which He has given to us, despoil it not. Nevermore drive the cattle through this sun-blessed paradise, but walk in solitude and silence and see what Nature will provide unto your body and soul.

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May 2014

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