.004 [Video]
Apr. 18th, 2011 12:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
[The camera is shaking and jostling about quite a lot. Bertie is up in a tree, clinging to a branch with one hand while trying to video post with the other.]
I say, can someone please give a chap a helping hand here?
[The picture jolts as Bertie yelps and looks at something below him, off camera.]
Nice puss puss puss. Good puss.
((OOC: Feel free to spam and use this as a Bertie Day In The Life In Port, too))
I say, can someone please give a chap a helping hand here?
[The picture jolts as Bertie yelps and looks at something below him, off camera.]
Nice puss puss puss. Good puss.
((OOC: Feel free to spam and use this as a Bertie Day In The Life In Port, too))
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Date: 2011-04-18 08:03 am (UTC)Ah, well, narrative law was clear. Rhade was about to have a giant cat barrelling at him, and Bertie would be forgotten up in his tree. And that's precisely how it happened.
Fortunately, Rhade was enjoying getting in touch with his inner caveman, and picked up two sizable rocks.] Doctor! [Yes, he was going to yell for his warden. Shut up! If this thing bit off his head he wanted someone to immediately bring him back to life.]
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Date: 2011-04-18 08:31 am (UTC)As it was, he makes a note to himself to thank the gentleman in red leather sometime. And possibly inquire after his tailor. That was a corking jacket unlike anything Bertie's ever seen before.]
Fuck you tenses! And you too, grammar! I hate you all and I'm not your friend!
Date: 2011-04-18 09:08 am (UTC)Oh what would he give for those boneblades back right now.
He yells at the cat and barrels at it, swings the flail, and runs at the animal. And it balks and starts to swipe before it catches a good hard crack right on the head.
It sort of balks away, but doesn't seem out of the game yet. Just confused that this monkey creature managed to hit it so hard.] What are you doing still up in the tree? Get out of the tree! [Wait, was he stuck in the tree?]
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Date: 2011-04-18 09:20 am (UTC)The way down is a tad steep from here. [Kick kick with his legs, trying to get them back in contact with the tree.]
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Date: 2011-04-18 09:40 am (UTC)[And then, miracle of miracles.... An orangutan jumped out of a nearby tree onto the animal's back. The animal yowls and takes off, the ape (and then ten other apes after it, where did those even come from?) pursuing it lowdly through the jungle.
Now... Rhade's just sort of confused... and he drops the rocks out of his shirt, looks up at Bertie, wrinkles his nose and shakes his head, and goes over to the tree to climb.] Don't fall.
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Date: 2011-04-18 10:34 am (UTC)[Bertie watched the orangutan squad chase away the cat. That was a bit of luck, wasn't it.
Less lucky was that his hands were slipping on the branch. Just as soon as Rhade said "Don't fall" Bertie lost his grip and went plummeting. Fortunately, there was a pile of dried palm fronds there to break his fall.]
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Date: 2011-04-18 10:40 am (UTC)[What's less lucky, at least for Rhade, is the orangutan that's come bumbling along after the group and has his jacket. And is looking at it very curiously. He turns to see it.]
That belongs to me! Drop it!
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Date: 2011-04-18 09:05 pm (UTC)Oh dear. He'll be after my waistcoat next. I'm sure the lack of tailors is frustrating for a sartorially inclined ape.
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Date: 2011-04-18 09:50 pm (UTC)[And he starts to approach, but the ape takes the jacket and turns away with it, in that threatening almost ready to run sort of stance. And Rhade wants the uniform coat back, but he doesn't want to have to climb a tree or battle an orangutan for it.]
Apparently that one is very fond of it, anyway. Is there any fruit I can offer it for a trade? [And what are they going to do if the orangutan squad comes back. He might have to contact his warden.]
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Date: 2011-04-19 02:24 am (UTC)Will this whatsits do? [He holds up a slightly mashed banana. There are no banana plants nearby, so where it came from is anyone's guess.]
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Date: 2011-04-19 05:10 am (UTC)[The orangutan looks over it's shoulder skeptically at the two of them. Like it's listening in. As it's tasting the jacket. Nom, slick and shiny.]
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Date: 2011-04-19 05:42 am (UTC)What ho...er...Ginger, do you mind if I call you Ginger? I have a good friend named Ginger; he's the Damon to my Pythias. Or was it the other way around? I can never remember with these Greek chaps.
...
Where was I?
{Spam}
Date: 2011-04-18 08:15 am (UTC)What in the blazes are you going on about—HELP! HEEEEELP!
{With that yelp, he'll just be scrambling up the neighbouring tree, his narrative law demanding that he lose a shoe in the battle.}
MAYDAY! MAYDAY!
{Spam}
Date: 2011-04-18 08:27 am (UTC)What ho, Professor! [Nervously chipper in the face of GIANT FANGS AND CLAWS.]
Er...you don't happen to have a Remove-Cat-And-Descend-Safely-From-Tree invention on you, do you?
{Spam}
Date: 2011-04-18 08:31 am (UTC)What does he want? If we give him what he wants, he'll go away.
{Spam}
Date: 2011-04-18 08:35 am (UTC)[Poor Bertie's still getting used to this "inmate, possibly evil, likely doesn't value human life" concept.]
{Spam}
Date: 2011-04-18 10:30 am (UTC){Cue looking around to see if there is anything else he can throw to or at the fearsome beast.}
{Spam}
Date: 2011-04-18 10:46 am (UTC)Oh wait, I have a hat. But it's my favourite Panama hat. We can't throw that either.
{Spam}
Date: 2011-04-18 11:40 am (UTC)BACK OFF, BEAST! {More quiet, ineffective banging.} MOVE OFF, YOU OVERGROWN STRIPED TABBY CAT!
{Spam}
Date: 2011-04-18 09:10 pm (UTC)[Really, Professor Fate shouted more than an entire spectator stand at a rugby match. It was quite unlike any of the academics he remembered from his Oxford days.]
{Spam}
Date: 2011-04-18 09:31 pm (UTC){He makes rugby spectators look reserved.}
{Spam}
Date: 2011-04-19 02:27 am (UTC)I say, I don't think it's working.
{Spam}
Date: 2011-04-19 06:01 pm (UTC){But then he starts to thinking. How is it one gets a cat to go away at one's house? He's always been more of a dog person.} If Chloe and Radclyffe were here you'd be mince pork-chop! {A frown.} Cat-chop?
{Say...there's an idea.} Bark at it! Bark at the cat!
{Spam}
Date: 2011-04-20 09:00 am (UTC){Spam}
Date: 2011-04-20 06:18 pm (UTC)post-cat.
Date: 2011-04-18 10:03 am (UTC)He spotted Bertie through the trees, though, and Eddie tried to pick up his pace a little, and fell straight over a sticking up root of the tree. Instinctively, he froze. He did not have a good history with trees, and he was waiting for the moment when the tree attacked.]
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Date: 2011-04-18 10:41 am (UTC)What ho, Eddie! Be careful when you ankle about here; the footing is...what's the word...treacherous, yes, treacherous.
[But when Eddie didn't move at all after tripping, Bertie got a little concerned. He trotted towards him.]
I say, are you altogether all right?
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Date: 2011-04-18 10:45 am (UTC)Just fine. Thought it might be this place's equivalent of a yaetevo. [He brushed the dirt off his shorts and gave Bertie a slight grin,] It isn't! Yaetevos are terribly dangerous.
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Date: 2011-04-18 10:49 am (UTC)What does a yaetevo usually look like?
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Date: 2011-04-18 10:55 am (UTC)[He looked over at Bertie, a little confused,] Who's Jeeves?
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Date: 2011-04-18 09:30 pm (UTC)[Bertie brightens when Eddie asks about Jeeves.]
Jeeves is a paragon among paragons. He's my gentleman's personal gentleman and a right brainy chap. He always gets me and my friends out of any rum stitch we find ourselves in.
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Date: 2011-04-18 09:53 pm (UTC)Sounds like a good friend. What... exactly is a gentleman's personal gentleman? Do you keep him all to yourself?
[Eddie got the idea of having servants pretty easily, but didn't understand Bertie's phrasing of it at all.]
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Date: 2011-04-19 12:02 am (UTC)Jeeves is my valet. I employ him, although I have occasionally loaned out his brilliant mind to friends in need, and he's butled for my aged a. a time or two.
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Date: 2011-04-19 01:58 pm (UTC)Starch your collars, and that kind of thing? [He was less comfortable with the idea than he had been a long time ago, but he knew what Bertie meant now.]
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Date: 2011-04-20 08:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-20 09:05 am (UTC)I imagine that sort of thing only works at home, though. I've... spent a while figuring out how to starch my own collars.
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Date: 2011-04-20 09:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-20 09:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-20 09:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-20 09:36 am (UTC)He paused in his tracks, and after picking his way over a tree root, then turned to face Bertie.]
I never asked. Friend? [Mmm, social rituals.]
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Date: 2011-04-20 09:30 pm (UTC)[He thought asking if he had any friends was an odd thing to question a fellow about. Then an alternative explanation struck him.]
Oh, you mean to ask if we're friends! Of course we are, Eddie.
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Date: 2011-04-20 10:04 pm (UTC)Good, good. Just a formality, I suppose. [He was a little aware other people thought it was a bit weird.]