.004 [Video]

[what_ho_jeeves]

[The camera is shaking and jostling about quite a lot. Bertie is up in a tree, clinging to a branch with one hand while trying to video post with the other.]

I say, can someone please give a chap a helping hand here?

[The picture jolts as Bertie yelps and looks at something below him, off camera.]

Nice puss puss puss. Good puss.




((OOC: Feel free to spam and use this as a Bertie Day In The Life In Port, too))

Comments

{Spam}

[youriseyoushine.livejournal.com]

{Time for a lesson in that one, Bertie.} Throwing you sounds like a fine idea! Unless you can think of something else he wants! I'm all out of hats!

{Cue looking around to see if there is anything else he can throw to or at the fearsome beast.}

{Spam}

[what_ho_jeeves]

No, it is not fine. It is distinctly un-fine. You can't throw me to that beast! [He pouts.]

Oh wait, I have a hat. But it's my favourite Panama hat. We can't throw that either.

{Spam}

[youriseyoushine.livejournal.com]

Of course I can't throw you, you incompetent ninny! I'd have to be not several feet up and away from you to throw you! {He breaks off a branch behind him, and starts hitting the tree he's in with it.} I heard they don't like noise.

BACK OFF, BEAST! {More quiet, ineffective banging.} MOVE OFF, YOU OVERGROWN STRIPED TABBY CAT!

{Spam}

[what_ho_jeeves]

Well, if they don't like noise, then you're perfectly safe. With or without the stick.

[Really, Professor Fate shouted more than an entire spectator stand at a rugby match. It was quite unlike any of the academics he remembered from his Oxford days.]

{Spam}

[youriseyoushine.livejournal.com]

Of course I'm perfectly safe with or without the—WAIT A MINUTE. What's that supposed to mean, funny man? {Flailing his stick wildly the whole time.} It isn't working! Grab a stick, maybe the ticket is two sticks. TWO STICKS. That'll scare 'em off! {More wild stick waving!}

{He makes rugby spectators look reserved.}

{Spam}

[what_ho_jeeves]

[Bertie, overwhelmed by the shouting and stick flailing, takes up a stick of his own and flails it.]

I say, I don't think it's working.

{Spam}

[youriseyoushine.livejournal.com]

Of course it isn't working! WAVE HARDER! {Accompanied by Fate's own waving and cursing.} Go away!

{But then he starts to thinking. How is it one gets a cat to go away at one's house? He's always been more of a dog person.} If Chloe and Radclyffe were here you'd be mince pork-chop! {A frown.} Cat-chop?

{Say...there's an idea.} Bark at it! Bark at the cat!

{Spam}

[what_ho_jeeves]

[Bertie looks at Fate as though he thinks he might be a bit daft, but desperate times and all that. Bertie starts barking. Barking and snarling and making all the doggie sounds he can think of.]

{Spam}

[youriseyoushine.livejournal.com]

{And Fate begins his repetoire of every dog noise he can think of—barking, yipping, howling, yowling, growling, and whining. Though, at this rate, the best they can hope for is the feline beast to just...get bored and wander off.}