.001 [Accidental Video...eventually]

[what_ho_jeeves]

[Voice]

--at ho? [sound of communicator falling down and shutting off.]



[Text]

e9oas0-50igf4eaw3l;k82=erwl;dkl;3r0;kxkop8954 0kdska0230-



[Video]


...blasted thing come with instructions.

[Lo! The whatsitsthingy is blinking! This might be a good sign. Or this might be like the half-dozen other times that he thought it was working when it actually wasn't. ...No...it really is working this time. In the background is a posh flat designed with hints of Art Deco in the architectural details.]

What ho, what ho!

I say, this is a dashed peculiar sort of ship, isn’t it? I mean, when I was approached by this Admiral chap I knew I’d be on some boat or another, but I rather expected it to be more of a sea-going affair, as is, I think, a natural conclusion to come to when the word “ship” is uttered. Instead, inside, I find a replica of my Berkeley Mansions flat, so perfectly perfect I half expect Jeeves to come biffing in through the kitchen door at any moment, and outside, I find all the starry universe.

Well, this is a rummy whatsits, it is. All the same, this Wooster shall not yield to brooding or despair. Oh no. Did the Wooster who fought at Agincourt look around that stormy and troubled hill and say, “Dash it all, this wasn’t on the cards,” and go home? Oh no. A Wooster always keeps his word, you know.

[He emphatically gestures with the hand that's holding the communicator at the end of his little speech, causing the picture to veer wildly around and ultimately drops it again. Barge-folk, enjoy a view of his ceiling.]

Dash it all, why can't the Admiral use sensible things that start with "tele," like telegrams and telephones to--

[And in picking it up he's accidentally turned it off again. It may be hours before he figures out how to turn it back on.]

Comments

[collector]

[...Oh Heavens below. What is this person.]

Did you take something of a wrong turn on your way to Magdalen College?

[what_ho_jeeves]

[Text]

890dajk3290890&*(#@LJkdkasjkk sj eiu3578352fehdskl=-148

[If he pushes enough buttons, eventually he'll get to...]

[VIDEO!]

I was on my way to the Drone's Club, actually, in the metrop. Have you been? Good eggs there, all of them. It's a funny thing, because I've walked there hundreds upon hundreds of times, and only just today the road wasn't as it was supposed to be. I say the road wasn't as it was supposed to be because that surely makes more sense than me making a wrong turn on a path I've walked hundreds upon hundreds of times.

Then I met a strange fellow...or maybe it was just a voice...asking if I wanted to do some people a spot of help, and I said, "No thanks, I've got to meet Bingo for lunch," and he said, "Well, that's not very preux is it?" or words to that effect, and I said, "You're right, dash it all," and he said, "And you get to ask for a wish to be granted," and I said, "What, like a genie?" and he said, "Right-o! But two less," and I said--

[This will keep going unless you interrupt him.]

Video

[una_persson]

[Yes, Una knows her Wodehouse. MM is a big fan, after all. Oh god, is this who she thinks this is? What was the Admiral thinking? He's going to be eaten alive!]

Er. Good afternoon, Mr Wooster.

Video

[what_ho_jeeves]

[You know him! He has forgotten that he said his last name.]

Good afternoon, Miss...

Er...excuse me, Miss, my onion's not on straight. You know how it is, the excitement of travel and whatnot. Have we [been engaged] met before?

[rass-bestie.livejournal.com]

[Oh, my goodness it's you. This is clearly some joke being played on him. He knows how conceited thinking that might be, but honestly, the rate he's going, this is clearly all about him and no mistake.] Hi.

[what_ho_jeeves]

[That voice is quite distinctive. Bertie yelps. First you talk out of his book, and now you talk out of his communicator! And he hasn't even had a whisky and s!

Except...lots of people are talking out of his communicator, and only one person has ever talked out of his book. Maybe this Means Something.]

What ho?

[empirical_data]

[And Data jumps to absolutely the wrong conclusion.] House? [Or... House's father? What?]

[what_ho_jeeves]

[Bertie jumps to an also-wrong conclusion. He looks behind him briefly as if to verify where he is.]

It's a flat, actually.

[shortsghtedlove.livejournal.com]

[Rassilon looks thoroughly unimpressed over here. Whatever the Admiral is taking, he hopes the damn fool runs out of it soon.]

[what_ho_jeeves]

[You mean this *doesn't* give you greater confidence in the Admiral's decision making skills?]

[feverprophecy.livejournal.com]

Agincourt.

Really.

[what_ho_jeeves]

It's a well known family fact, passed down through the generations of Aunts, that there was a member of the Wooster tree fighting for king and country at Agincourt.

[boughtitall.livejournal.com]

This isn't quite your normal ship, Mr. Wooster, as you have gathered.

[what_ho_jeeves]

Yes, I've come to that melancholy conclusion. Why, I haven't even found a shuffle-board court anywhere!

[knowsthepeople]

You actually know a guy called "Jeeves"?

[what_ho_jeeves]

Know him? Why, he's my valet, and a more splendid chap in a bowler you'd be hard pressed to find. He's a true gentleman among gentlemen's gentlemen.

[strangehistorian]

Oh, um. Welcome to the Barge, Mr. Wooster.

[what_ho_jeeves]

Thank you, Miss...

[And...he notices Chromie's size and assumes she's much younger than she is. And little girls *terrify* him.]

...I say...[nervous smile]...are your parents around?

[toldastory]

House?

[what_ho_jeeves]

[He looks behind him again, just like he did when Data came to that conclusion.]

No, still a flat, I'm afraid.

[Then the light bulb goes on.]

Oh, you mean that handsome, iron-willed chap who is apparently a bit like me. Sorry, he is not I, nor from any branch of my family tree that I'm aware of.

[alzarian-youth.livejournal.com]

You could think of this as television if something starting with tele would comfort you.

[what_ho_jeeves]

Tele...vision? [He's a few decades too early to understand what that is.]

Is that like a telegram you see?

{Video}

[so-meretricious.livejournal.com]

{Technological issues? Holmes feels a kinship already.}

The starry vista does, at least, provide a stunning and provoking view.

{Video}

[what_ho_jeeves]

Indeed it does. It calls to mind that ditty...between two worlds life hovers like a star...something something...upon the horizon's...whatsit.

(reposted - my attempt at a joke might have come of wrong -- sorry)

[young-idealist.livejournal.com]

[Armand is dressed in his normal clothes--very 18th century--most from Earth don't mistake his French accent.]

Are you doing better now, monsieur? Did you say Wooster? [His way of saying 'Wooster' is kind of hard to describe and very off.]

(No worries. Airhead is a very accurate description.)

[what_ho_jeeves]

[Like most upper class English gentlemen, he was forced to learn French in school. He's not very good at it, since he spent most of his time in school staring vacantly out a window or getting pranked by other boys, but he remembers a phrase or two.]

Oui, monsieur, Bertram Wilberforce Wooster, but most people call me Bertie. No hard feelings about Agincourt, I hope?

[And because that is odd clothing...]

Is there a fancy dress party going on?