.007 [Voice]

[what_ho_jeeves]

[Not private filtered at all. Bertie doesn't quite get the filter thing unless the other person filters first.]

Professor Fate? I say, Professor, are you there?

And, Admiral, my good chap, since you refuse to bring me my valet, even though he'd be corking at this wardening business, I need a bit of help with my flat. It's getting a bit chaotic if you know what I mean. Dusting is dashed harder than it looks, and I've already broken two teacups trying to wash up. If you won't let me have Jeeves, don't you at least a maid on board who could tidy up? This really is the worst service I've had on a ship. I've half a mind to write a complaint to your company chairman and tell him so.

Comments

{Video}

[youriseyoushine.livejournal.com]

If you want to become cat hors d'ouvres, that's your affair, I certainly won't stop you. But you're missing more than a good chunk of the grey matter if you think I'm coming with you!

{Video}

[what_ho_jeeves]

Oh. Well, that's all right; we can stay in. In fact, we can do the questionnaire I cooked up. It's all about the psychology of the individual. Wait just a tick while I go find it. [Bertie vanishes from the screen, although the video is still running. There's the sound of papers being shuffled, then a shout of "Eureka!" And he returns with a few sheets of notepaper clutched in one hand.]

{Video}

[youriseyoushine.livejournal.com]

The sigh college-y of the who-what-how?

{Video}

[what_ho_jeeves]

Psychology. With a soundless "p". It's Greek, and like the "e" in "cake"...except "cake" isn't Greek at all. Although I suppose the Greeks also bake cakes of a sort...

In any event, this questionnaire will better allow me to help you. Now, let's begin. [He runs his finger along the top to find the first question.] Ah, here we are. Question number one...

"Are you evil?"

{Video}

[youriseyoushine.livejournal.com]

Stop blabbering about soundless Greek cakes! And what kind of a question is that? I am in business, and you can't succeed in business without...{villainous, moustache twirling chuckle} breaking a few eggs.

{Video}

[what_ho_jeeves]

Business? Eggs?

...

Are you a chef? Because I was quite certain you were an academic.

{Video}

[youriseyoushine.livejournal.com]

{Another sinister chuckle.}

Oh, please, do let me assure you. Economics and academics are all about business and eggs.

{Video}

[what_ho_jeeves]

They are? [He thinks about this.] I don't remember many eggs at Oxford. Except those on the breakfast table, of course. And a few dons whose heads were shaped like eggs and just as bare of hair.

{Video}

[youriseyoushine.livejournal.com]

IT'S A METAPHOR.

{After the yelling, his voice switches back to calm, as it so often does.}

You do know what a metaphor is, don't you?