what_ho_jeeves | .010 [Video--totally public, as usual]

What ho, Professor Fate! We never did finish that questionnaire, you know. Somehow we got on the topic of eggs instead and never quite came back around to the main point. In fact, not only did we not finish, we didn't really get much of a start, either. So I'm just going to assume that you answered "yes" to question number one, "Are you evil?" if it's not too much trouble. You see, all the other questions rather require that the answer to the first question be "yes."

So, on to the second question.

[Clears throat.]

Why are you evil?

...

[Waits. Looks at his pocketwatch.]

...

Professor Fate? I say, Professor? Are you there? [Usually Fate would be shouting into the communicator by now. Bertie frowns.]

...

Professor, if you can't hear me, say something. ...No, wait, that doesn't work at all, does it. If you can hear me, say something.

...

Professor?

...

[Professor Fate is gone, but it hasn't yet occurred to Bertie to check his warden item. So the Barge gets Bertie's (increasingly bored and restless) waiting face for a long time.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That'd be awfully white of you. I don't think I could carry him all by myself.

...He might be best left where he is anyway.

Anyway, I'll just get my shoes and jacket. See you in a minute.

Right-o. I'll see you soon.

[Eddie knocks on Bertie's door a minute or so later.]

[Bertie opens his door, jacket and hat on and walking stick at the ready.]

What ho, Eddie! Is there anything I ought to bring for the Professor if he is in a coma?

[Eddie's in one of his smarter suits, complete with a red tie and handkerchief, but has no hat. He smiles, and replies,] What ho! [He loves picking up these phrases.]

I don't think so. We might have to break in the room if it's locked, but I'm not sure much would help us with that.

No, no I don't have anything that would help with that. We'll just have to use the old sinew and muscle. [Bertie is probably vastly overestimating their strength. Even with the two of them working together.]

Either that, or get George. [He wasn't entirely oblivious to how weedy he was, and started walking to the stairs.] Where did Mister Fate live?

He lives just one floor up, in cabin 15, deck 7.

I'll ring up George to help.

You sort that, and he can meet us there. [Eddie bounded up a few stairs at once.]

[Bertie followed, gangly, and tripping on one of the steps since stairs and talking on the communicator simultaneously took more focus than he possessed, but he made it without injury.]

[Eddie skids to a stop outside Fate's door and frowns. It's... normal.]

Uh. Bertie. I'm not sure we'll be needing George.

[Too bad, George has rounded the corner and appeared behind you.]

What was that?

[Bertie looks around, wondering if he's got the wrong door. Nope, all the surrounding doors are definitely also not Professor Fate's door.]

His door didn't look like this before. Did he replace it, do you think?

Oh, what ho, Georgie. Eddie says we might not need you now. The Professor has replaced his door.

I... are you sure you didn't get the number wrong, Bertie?

[Pause, and he carefully pushes the door open.]

It's... the room's empty. Look. [He holds it for the other two. It's a concrete box.]

[George peers in.]

Good Lord, someone's stolen the whole place!

And kidnapped the Professor! Quick, look for clues. [He flutters his hands in the direction of the empty room.]

.010 [Video--totally public, as usual]

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