what_ho_jeeves: (whelp...)
What ho, Professor Fate! We never did finish that questionnaire, you know. Somehow we got on the topic of eggs instead and never quite came back around to the main point. In fact, not only did we not finish, we didn't really get much of a start, either. So I'm just going to assume that you answered "yes" to question number one, "Are you evil?" if it's not too much trouble. You see, all the other questions rather require that the answer to the first question be "yes."

So, on to the second question.

[Clears throat.]

Why are you evil?

...

[Waits. Looks at his pocketwatch.]

...

Professor Fate? I say, Professor? Are you there? [Usually Fate would be shouting into the communicator by now. Bertie frowns.]

...

Professor, if you can't hear me, say something. ...No, wait, that doesn't work at all, does it. If you can hear me, say something.

...

Professor?

...

[Professor Fate is gone, but it hasn't yet occurred to Bertie to check his warden item. So the Barge gets Bertie's (increasingly bored and restless) waiting face for a long time.]
what_ho_jeeves: (three-quarters)
[Not private filtered at all. Bertie doesn't quite get the filter thing unless the other person filters first.]

Professor Fate? I say, Professor, are you there?

And, Admiral, my good chap, since you refuse to bring me my valet, even though he'd be corking at this wardening business, I need a bit of help with my flat. It's getting a bit chaotic if you know what I mean. Dusting is dashed harder than it looks, and I've already broken two teacups trying to wash up. If you won't let me have Jeeves, don't you at least a maid on board who could tidy up? This really is the worst service I've had on a ship. I've half a mind to write a complaint to your company chairman and tell him so.

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May 2014

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